It’s no secret that humans in groups tend to have an unspoken hierarchy, whether we consciously notice it or not, it’s still there. This differs from traditional formal hierarchies found in clubs, work, or school, in that the pecking order is decided mostly through complex social interactions between group members.
Consider the social groups you keep right now. Who is it that people are trying to please? Who are they seeking implicit approval from? Who do they tend not interrupt or confront? You may also notice sometimes that other group members will look to this person to see their reaction to particular people and events, that group member may then choose to imitate that reaction. This is the de-facto alpha of the group, but not necessarily for long if you assert yourself correctly.
By taking a look at the physical behaviours of a dominant man or woman, you too can reap the benefits of asserting yourself upon the world.
The best way to understand what physical dominance is is by learning what it’s not.
Physical dominance is not:
- Hurting others
- Instigating violence
- Threatening others
You’re not aiming to show a tough-guy attitude, you’re aiming to show that you’re entirely confident in your own skin.
Physical dominance is:
- Keeping an open stance (chest out, legs apart, shoulders rested, hands not in pockets)
- This shows that you perceive no threats to yourself and are confident that you can deal with whatever may come your way.
- Maintaining eye-contact in conversation
- Eye contact shows that you are uninhibited or anxious in the presence of the other person, a sign of self-assurance and sincerity. (Don’t stare the other person down though, keep eye-contact around 80% of the time.)
- Sitting and/or lounging as you please
- An assertive individual doesn’t care for other’s judgements or weak social norms, as the alpha, he or she is given the permission to shatter these. Show this by relaxing at ease the way you want to, regardless of the environment. (Naturally, there are still some situations where this should not be followed; job interviews etc.)
- Taking up all the space you need
- Your confident open stance means taking up all the space you need to be as comfortable as you want to be. This is important in almost any situation, from sitting in your chair in class to dancing at a nightclub.
These are just some general guidelines on asserting physical dominance in everyday life, there are much more out there that are more context-dependent.
Some of this information may come across to some as arrogant or unpleasant, but it need not appear that way.
Asserting physical dominance differs a lot depending on context, you will have to learn to judge for yourself as to where and when you should do what. All of the above should be practised respectfully and with only constructive aims, otherwise you could end up antagonising others.
Do you think there are other great ways of asserting your physical dominance? Let me hear them and we can expand our list together.
Also, do you also think there’s anything inherently wrong with acting out these behaviours in everyday life? I’d love to know your own thoughts and experiences.