Self-Defeating Control

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Naturally we all want our own way, as much as people say that makes us bossy.

“Oh you just want your own way don’t you?” or “You want to have your cake and eat it don’t you?” Of course I do, why wouldn’t I want everything my way? That’s my view of a perfect world if everything was done my way. Everyone wants their own way and I think that’s just human nature, there’s no need for the negative connotations of selfishness really.

The problem comes when you attempt to control everything in hopes of making everything go your own way. If you’re anything like myself, you don’t trust others with things that have to be done, either you do it yourself or it ain’t done right, similar to how the old saying goes. This way of mind doesn’t necessarily dictate that others aren’t able to do the job as well as me, often quite the contrary, it means in my head, it won’t be done in time, in the right format, accurately enough etc etc unless I take it upon myself to do it. Obvious problems quickly spring up with this mindset, both in a social and personal sense. Not to mention how much this isn’t compatible with the teamwork and group working that is rife in today’s world.

Take a group project for example. If I decide to take on the vast majority of the work because I think my group and I won’t pass otherwise, this means I:

  1. Stress myself out which leads to less quality work.
  2. Tire myself out which again leads to a drop in quality.
  3. Devours all my time.
  4. Skills of every person are not put to use.
  5. My group dislike my apparent bossiness.
  6. My group pass or fail depending on what I do.

The list could go on but the point is made. No one can ever have full control and control is a double-edged sword. You should be in control of whatever you are doing to keep things in check, but trying to control everything will leave you drained, worried and disliked. In modern times, it’s important to find a balance because rarely do jobs mean working alone, the same could be said for academia.

In a world of relying on others, reliable or not, I guess there can only be one healthy level of control to take, that which you can steer your companions and self to victory but to be also pushed in that direction by your team-mates.

In short, give up on total control, you’ll only be disappointed.