Asserting Dominance in Everyday Life: Mental Dominance

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Last time we talked about asserting physical dominance in everyday life, but behind every great act of physical dominance is the outlook of mental dominance. In short, it’s a way of thinking that can make your speech and behaviour more deliberate to achieve what you set out to achieve.

Now, the mental state you adopt to reach the desired level of mental dominance you seek depends on your goals. To make this as general as possible. so as to make sense to most people, we’ll refer to the situation described in the previous piece on physical dominance, this was a social group situation. How do you think of yourself and the other acting minds in this situation? How do you think of yourself and the external world in these scenarios? If you find yourself thinking that you are on the same level as those other acting minds, or if you think you are separate from the ‘external world’, then you are not embracing the tool that is a healthy mental dominance.

Similarly to the last article, I believe I’ll have to put things in clear black in white before any reader begins to think this is a one-way road into adopting a selfish and narcissistic mindset. When I say that you should not be thinking of your mind being on the same level as others, it’s not because you are superior, or because you’re better than everyone else. Instead, it’s about believing internally that your thoughts and mental processes deserve a higher priority than those of others. If this internal belief benefits you in positively affecting your behavioural successes, then why not adopt it?

Mental Dominance

mental dominance

We’ve already reiterated what mental dominance is not, which means we can jump right into what it actually is. Mental dominance may be more difficult to grasp as its own independent area as it serves to overlap into both physical and verbal dominance. The largest difference, however, is that mental dominance isn’t about how you act or speak, it’s about how you think.

Realising Self-Worth

The big problem today is that many people think about others too much, to the point of frustrating themselves or even becoming depressed. This can be the result of thoughts stemming from the macrocosm that is society at whole, or a microcosm as small as one specific person. Examples of these two extremes could be how people in wider society will perceive you with a certain classification of educational degree, or maybe how one member of the opposite sex feels towards you, respectively. You need to put your thoughts, ideas, and beliefs one step above everyone else’s, push other’s off that pedestal.

The reality is that your way of thinking will dictate how you interact with the world, and thus how you are perceived by it. The great thing is that you can change how you think, it won’t happen overnight, but it can be done, it’s the whole concept of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I talked about this in more detail in Fine Tuning Cognition.

Begin by attributing worth to how you think and how you act, they are your unique interactions with the world, after all, the only ones you have. With time, you can start to see that it is your own thinking that matters the most, be selfish about it, it’s even ok to think narcissistically sometimes, what matters though is the physical and verbal manifestations of those thoughts. Even if you judge these thoughts or actions as bad or negative, analyse them and take anything that can elicit personal growth.

Applying This to Action

Changing your thoughts can change your life for the better, or for the worst if you allow it. From the beginnings of building mental dominance to the point where you are comfortable and happy with the way you think and act, you’ll definitely see changes in how you interact with the world, and subsequently, how it reacts to you.

The worth instilled in your thinking will translate to seeing that worth imbued in your words in actions. At best, you could end up being the type of person who can throw in non-sequiturs into almost any conversation and feel good about it, because you’re happy about the way you think, and are careless about how the world responds. You might even find that because you are so confident and ‘sure’ of your actions and choices, the world will react favourably regardless. It’s never a sure thing when you take risks and try new things, but it’s not about making it a sure thing, it’s about building the mental dominance required to try these new things and be internally confident enough in yourself to be satisfied with whatever happens.

It’s never a sure thing when you take risks and try new things, but it’s not about making it a sure thing, it’s about building the mental dominance required to try these new things and be internally confident enough in yourself to be satisfied with yourself whatever happens.

In Just a Few (A Lot of) Words


Coming back from our tangent, let’s return to the original scenario of a group social situation. Someone with no mental dominance will not see the worth in the words they share with the group, will not see the worth in the reactions to these words, whether good or bad. This person does not have control over their own thoughts and feelings because they allow what happens in this scenario to dictate them. The world reflects this back onto them by giving them back what that person put in, nothing of worth.

In contrast, the mentally dominant individual knows that their presence is appreciated in the social group. They know that their words make the social group something of worth, something unique that every other experience is lacking. They turn to the others, they turn towards the world as say this is what I am, here is what I bring to you, and the world responds with the gift of experience. Good or bad experience is largely irrelevant because the mentally dominant individual sees worth in all of it, they want to digest whatever is given, leaving out and forgetting whatever isn’t useful, and whatever could catalyse the lowering of their mind and thoughts from their own internal pedestal.

In one line, the mentally dominant individual controls the world around them, the individual lacking mental dominance lets the world control them.

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